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Set to be PC-only after being judged too saucy for the Xbox.

London, September 2010

Privates, the unique shoot-‘em-up set inside peoples’ rude parts is to remain strictly PC-only following consultation with team Xbox.

“The guys at Xbox have been amazing,” said Dan Marshall of Zombie Cow Studios. “They’ve been really supportive and helpful throughout, but ultimately have advised that the game wouldn’t pass the Indie Games Peer Review process, purely due to its inherently sexual nature. As a result, if you want to play as a tiny little man blasting away inside someone’s innards, the only place to do it is”

“It’s a shame, but it’s something we’d always pretty much assumed would happen.”

“Since launch, we’ve been working flat-out on the PC version of  Privates, improving it and getting it running on as many different systems as possible. As a result, all of the pesky crashes and issues have finally been fixed up, and it’s now running smoother and better than ever before. If you had troubles getting it going at launch, it’s well worth having another quick try.”

Privates is a platform shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters. It’s rude, funny, bitingly satirical and technically pretty accurate if you don’t count the tiny people or the germs with teeth.

Privates boasts five whole levels of bug-busting action across a variety of gorgeous 3D locations, with a fully-voiced comedy script and a nutso soundtrack. You never know, you might even learn something handy about your downstairs-department.

The PC version is available to download FOR FREE from

Screenshots are available now at If you need to know anything, pester, or keep up-to-date at

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