Hothead Rants Pt. 3: Anna Anthropy
The Auntie Pixellante founder with a deeply personal poem
Continuing our series of transcribed outbursts from the Hothead Developer Rants session which took place on the closing day of GDC 2013, we have a GamesIndustry International first: a poem.
The text below was re-written from an original by RPS contributor Cara Ellison. Reconfigured and performed by Anna Anthropy, who founded Auntie Pixellante to explore issues of gender, sex and perception, it might well represent a very different view of the industry to yours. Perhaps, as a queer trans woman, Anna's experiences might not seem that relevant, too niche, too obscure.
Perhaps, if you watch the video embedded along with the transcript, recorded on a phone by Anna's PR, Anna's passion might persuade you that however niche, however 'other' Anna's experience might be to yours, that even if you don't agree with it, it can still be important.
John Romero's Wives
There comes a time when you're more angry than tired
There comes a point where sitting in silence is more terrifying than standing and speaking
The games industry is a man in love with his libido
I have a libido
Had to be joked away at conferences
Had to be scrolled past on internet forums
Had to be hissed under your breath
Had to be leant over a keyboard at 3am
Had to be seen in the statistics
Had to be segregated in schools
Had to be guided away from the sciences
Had to be a self-taught programmer
Our apathy and the games industry are in cahoots
Had to be Jenn Frank's endless patience
Had to be Leigh Alexander on a Bombcast
Had to be Mattie Brice making a game so she could finally be the main character
Had to be Mattie's game misattributed to Merritt Kopas
Had to be Merritt's game misattributed to me
Had to be unable to make room for more than one trans game designer
Had to be Lara Croft shipwrecked on an island of rapists
Had to be David Cage's sex bot begging for her life
Had to be protected by a man
Had to be marooned on Makeb
Had to be games where women moan when they're shot
Had to be Remember Me rejected because a woman protagonist makes it gay
Had to be Rhianna Pratchett asking "but what if the player's female?"
Had to be a Mojang security guard asking "what do you expect me to do?"
Had to be the forty hottest women in tech
Had to be fake geek girls
Brenda Braithwaite can't bring her daughter to E3
Had to be moaned through knees in the bath
Had to be screamed into a pillow
Had to be rewritten a hundred times
Had to be deleted before I clicked "send"
Had to be in fear
Had to be fat, ugly or slutty
Had to be told I'm really a man
Had to be asked why my name doesn't match my ID
Had to be a feminazi slut
Had to be an attention whore
Had to be obsessed with my own sexuality
Had to be on display
Had to be a torso on a shelf
Had to be mistaken for a booth babe
Had to be told to stop talking about it
Had to be told "this isn't an intelligent conversation"
Had to be told to get your husband's permission before posting on the internet
Had to be verbally abused
Had to be clogging Patricia Hernandez's inbox
Had to be Lana Polansky scared to talk about sex
Had to be Tracey afraid to comment on her own site
Had to be Dani Bunten denied her own name
Had to be the indie game developer who told my friend she could give him a blowjob
Had to be Adria losing her job because she said "no more"
Anita Sarkeesian's face is bruised
Had to be rage
Had to be fear
Had to be scared to use the bathroom
Had to be silenced
Had to make a rape joke
Had to put it on a t-shirt
Had to get your wife to insist that you're not sexist
Had to refuse to call Dys4ia a game
Had to deny that Tentacle Bento is a game about rape
Had to leave two hundred comments on an open letter to Destructoid
Had to hate other women because you were taught to
Had to call us "females" like we're another species
Had to give me a panic attack
Had to push me out of the chair and play the game for me
Had to take away my agency
Had to take away my identity
Had to be John Romero's wife
Had to be John Romero's wives
All had to be John Romero's wives
All had to be John Romero's wives
Kudos to Anna and Brenda and other activist developers for continuing to raise awareness of industry misogyny.
Also, as this has been written by a victim of sexual discrimination, I don't think it's fair to also expect the victim to provide a solution to the problem.
She's the victim. Women are the victim. We can keep suggesting things as much as we want, but who has the power to do something in the end? Nobody here has a magic wand with the ability to change other people's mind. Otherwise we would just "Obliviate" people and fix the issue in no time.
Dear Anna Anthropy, keep at it.
Being respected as a human being has nothing to do with having the ability and tools to make good games.
Or you seriously think that it's OK to grope a woman and tell her to give you a blowjob, unless she's a genius at work?
If she wants to change how people think/perceive in the industry actions are louder than words, make games/programs, show the
world what its missing! writing poems and ranting/whining on blogs isn't going to get you anywhere its just preaching to the choir.
I checked out Dys4ia it was interesting, but not so much as a game.
Well it is if you wanted to be respected as a dev.
Of course not, where did I even imply that?
Edited 2 times. Last edit by Paul Smith on 5th April 2013 1:38pm
What makes Dys4ia 'not a game'?
Edited 1 times. Last edit by Jessica Hyland on 5th April 2013 1:38pm
How are female characters being reduced to busts on a shelf Anna's self issues?
How is Anita Sarkeesian receiving death threats and rape threats Anna's self issues?
How is boot babes being constantly harassed, teams hiring prostitutes at parties, co-workes being told to give blow jobs Anna's self issue?
Look, you can think whatever you want of Anna and of her skills, but I can tell you with no doubt that many (all) women in the industry can relate with the things on that list, so it's not a list of self issues.
Well, you basically stated that she should stop complaining about women issues in the industry and start making good games.
You made a remarks on her talent to address and criticize a piece of writing that is about human rights and gender equality.
By busts on shelf you means like figurines are such? Hows that even an issue? Its business some people like to buy them so they make them like any other product. Anyone who stirs up the internet gets death threats Anita's case isn't special in anyway she just publishezed it and spun it into an advanatge, Im sure Tameem has had a few of his own. Well that is one of the real issues booth babes and of course all staff shouldn't have to put up with any sort of harassment and I guess it depends on what the prostitutes were for.
I never intended to put down her talent or skills apologies if it came across that way like I said Dys4ia was interesting, the reason why I don't think its a game Jessica is because there's no win/loss scenario without that its an interactive experience.
Edited 3 times. Last edit by Paul Smith on 5th April 2013 2:30pm
And please don't condescend to tell us how a woman 'should' act to gain a modicum of respect. For one thing, the 'Hothead Rants' session wasn't for chatting nicely about STEM and how to make the games industry more appealing, it's for ranting. This poem in all its angry, bitter honesty is a rant. And a good one.
Edited 2 times. Last edit by Paul Smith on 5th April 2013 2:55pm
Same comment as Jessica here and usually,if you are woman trying to educate people it mainly results in death threats and rape threats.
If you are a woman playing online games mainly results in death threats and rape threats, too.
Actually, even if you are a woman and just try to express your opinion you get that.
Guess what? Some women need to complain and this is called a "Rant session" for a reason...
It is a rant session, isn't she allowed to rant?
Not the time and place (and not my time and place) here to educate you about how reducing women to sexual objects has contributed and still contributes in oppressing women.
But Anita's case is special. First of all, she didn't "stir up the internet" : she did an objective and well researched analysis. Secondly, sorry, but I can't see any man over the internet getting rape threaths and thirdly - you deflected my question, by the way.
I have asked you how the death threats and rape threats that Anita received are Anna's personal issue.
Nope - all of those are real issues. I am sorry that people like you, that seem smart enough to carry on conversations like this don't see the problem. Also, deflected the question again.
Well, you criticized her skills as a game maker in order to comment on a poem she wrote that is about something else.
This isn't very different to criticizing a woman's look to take away the attention from the fact that she could be very good at her work.
This stuff happens every day - were you a women, you would see this.
Edited 1 times. Last edit by Chiara Pasquini on 5th April 2013 3:11pm
I've quoted you as an example of this implicit, culturally-acquired behavior, being very similar to many many others that I've read.
Everyone gets smacked talked in online games Its not a new thing which only effects women.
There's nothing wrong with complaining that's what the internet is for but just ranting at a public place throwing plastic cups etc is just deconstructive and makes the panel look like children and it fuels the fires of sexist "Typical women, complaining about my video games again" remarks
You're right she didn't stir up the net she whisked it up! and then kept on refueling it over and over got to give a credit for that it was genius. I'm not gonna go deep into Anita's videos again all im gonna say is that they are about as objective as Christian Intelligent Design videos. When it comes to death rape threats its still a threat it doesn't matter the content of the threat.
I guess I didn't make this clear, Its not a personal issue of Anna's as its not even an issue, anyone who pisses people off on the internet gets threats of death, Its an internet thing its always going to happen the only way you could get rid of that is to regulate the net (which I hope never happens).
How does a plastic object oppress women?
I agreed they were real issues I can't comment on the prostitute one because I have no idea the context of it.
Like I said I didn't criticize her design skills, just her poetry skills.
Anna has made several excellent games.
Based on your comments I would charitably assume you are commenting from a position of ignorance (not knowing about Anna's games, not knowing about the Dead Island controversy etc.) rather than outright malice here. Perhaps do a bit of background research before alienating lots of potential future peers/employers?
...
I'm not usually a fan of the GDC rant session (it's usually a platform for successful, self-promoting developers deeply invested in the status quo to attack populist targets), and I didn't think much of the poem in its original form (it's a bit... 'sixth form activist'), but the intersection of these elements with the zeitgeist of this year's GDC works surprisingly well. And as we've seen in the past couple of weeks on this site, these things still clearly need to be said.
And yes I did know about the dead island riptide special edition,I still don't see how a plastic limbless mid piece oppresses women. If it you don't like it don't buy it.
There is a*A LOT* of smoke. 98% of the women in the industry - both production and press - that I've heard have complained about discrimination to varying levels.
Maybe people need to stop screaming that there's no fire?