2013 in Quotes: "Buy crap and you will get more crap"
Who said what in 2013, the year that Blizzard weren't running for president, the Fish flipped and we all had to #dealwithit
What a year people, what a year. Sure you're sat at your desk in your Christmas jumper now, focused firmly on the holidays and your big plans for 2014, but this time last year the next-generation consoles hadn't been announced, Adam Orth still had a job and there was still a chance Beyond: Two Souls could have been good.
So why not grab a cup of weak office eggnog and catch up on some of the best quotes from 2013 before it all fades into a messy, Kickstarter funded, free-to-play blur?
January 30 - Apparently Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander doesn't consider getting shot with bullets as harmful. "I think video games is a bigger problem than guns, because video games affect people.”
January 31 - Gabe Newell, gazillionaire and Steam overlord, still fears the rise of the fruit. "I think the biggest challenge is that Apple moves on the living room before the PC industry sort of gets its act together.”
February 6 - Quantic Dream's David Cage, maker of risky, ambitious games, has a helpful and entirely altruistic suggestion for consumers. "Buy crap and you will get more crap. Buy risky, ambitious games and you will get more of them.”
February 25 - Cliff Bleszinski takes a break from the romance advice and fuels the anxiety fires. "This business has not been in a state of transition like it is right now since the video game crash of the '80s. I really think we're in a massive state of turmoil.”
March 1 - Randy Pitchford, king of Gearbox and magic enthusiast, gives us something to ponder. "Imagine if the NRA had the same relationship with the gun industry that the ESRB has with the game industry."
March 21 - Writer Rhianna Pratchett on her Tomb Raider reboot and how Nathan Drake has it so easy. “Lara Croft gets a lot more scrutiny than Nathan Drake does, as a female. Nobody talks about how well Nathan Drake is representing men, or male characters in games."
March 29 - Brenda Romero resigns from her position as co-chair of the IGDA Women in Games SIG after severely underdressed female dancers appear at the organisation's party. “My silence would have been complicity. I had no choice. And just hours after our panel, too."
April 4 - Microsoft Studios creative director Adam Orth commits career suicide on Twitter. "Sorry, I don't get the drama around having an 'always on' console. Every device now is 'always on.' That's the world we live in. #dealwithit”
April 9 - Dr. Greg Zeschuk swaps aliens for ale, grows awesome beard, explains why. “I felt like I finished what I wanted to finish in the games business. I got really passionate about the beer business… “
April 17 - Suda 51 has a point - used underwear vending machines are totally a thing in Japan. "Maybe sexuality in games shouldn't be as big a taboo, but at the same time I live in a country where sexuality is pretty crazy."
"I got really passionate about the beer business… "
Dr. Greg Zeschuk
May 7 - Patrice Desilets suffers the after-effects of the worst break up in video games history. "Ubisoft's actions are baseless and without merit. I intend to fight Ubisoft vigorously for my rights, for my team and for my game."
May 15 - Jason Rubin offers us a different kind of games development studio tour as he chats about the Ukrainian developers of Metro: Last Light. “4A's staff sat on folding wedding chairs, literally elbow to elbow at card tables in what looks more like a packed grade school cafeteria than a development studio.”
May 30 - Richard Lemarchand, former Naughty Dog lead and all round nice man, isn't in it for the tech. “A piece of hardware is only a piece of hardware, it's what you do with it that's important - the experiences you create for players which can be transformative, that can teach us more about the world around us and the other people in it.”
June 12 - Peter Molyneux disses his old overlords Microsoft and their Xbox One reveal. "I just think it was very unprofessionally done. There was one message from one Phil and then another message from another Phil.”
June 24 - Why The Last Of Us is on Ellen Page's naughty list. "I guess I should be flattered that they ripped off my likeness, but I am actually acting in a video game called Beyond: Two Souls, so it was not appreciated."
June 27 - Shuhei Yoshida, president of Sony's Worldwide development studios, looks at the bigger picture. "It's not the decline of consoles, it's the decline of a generation."
July 26 - Not good, we imagine Lorne Lanning.“How does that whole [Microsoft Xbox One] team feel, knowing that the guy who led them to that train wreck just jumped out with maybe a $5 million parachute?"
July 29 - Phil Fish throws his games out of the Polytron pram. "Fez II is cancelled. I am done. I take the money and I run. This is as much as I can stomach. This is isn't the result of any one thing, but the end of a long, bloody campaign. You win."
August 6 - Saints Row associate producer Kate Nelson addresses the purple sex toy issue. "I think our game actually does represent women in a positive way, but the press will focus on, oh hey, there are strippers, or there's a dildo bat - it's unfortunate from my perspective that that doesn't come through.”
August 16 - Team Impact share their thought on the financial growth of eSports at the UMG AtLANta tournament "I wipe my *** with your salary."
August 22 - Oculus VR founder and virtual reality evangelist Palmer Luckey hearts indie virtual reality. “I would say that all the coolest demos we've seen in VR have been from indie developers, not established ones.”
September 2 - City of Monash councillor Jieh-Yung Lo brands Whore Of The Orient as insensitive, world shrugs. "The O-word is very similar to the N-word for African-American communities”
September 9 - Indie developer Luc Bernard won't be pre-ordering Wolfenstein: The New Order. "I'd nearly say it spits on what happened during World War II. You're taking what the Nazis represent - a mass genocide, the killing of so many people - and you're making it seem like a toy, a game. It's an insult to the Holocaust."
September 11 - Ouya developer Sophie Houlden responds to CEO Julie Uhrman's defence of the Free the Games Fund. "Treat developers better, listen to us, be more honest, admit when you have fucked up (without all the wishy-washy handwaving here that amounts to nothing), and be prepared to change course.”
October 1 - Zynga founder Mark Pincus shares his passion for the industry. "Right now, I'm pretty bored with all games."
October 11 - Rapper Daz Dillinger AKA Dat Nigga Daz and Delmar Drew Arnaud sues Rockstar after GTA V features his songs. "[It's about] respecting an artist's work. Rockstar didn't do that here and I can't let them get away with it."
November 22 - Blizzard game director Dustin Browder does a great job of defending hyper sexualised female characters in Blizzard games. "We're not running for President. We're not sending a message. No one should look to our game for that."